Update (June 15 2013) These are the real questions and answers I submitted to Brown Man Clothing Inc. that successfully got me in.
Dear friends and readers of this blog. I have chosen to enter the Brown Man Clothing 2013 model contest. Below are my answers to the preliminary entrance questions. I hope you do your best convince@brownmantshirts that I am the perfect candidate to represent their clothing line.
1. Name:
Billal Ali
2. Age: (You must be over the age of 19. If not, you will need parental consent to participate.)
19+ (waist, bust, age and IQ)
3. Do you have your own means of transportation?
I shall be travelling perched within a chariot of the people. The captains whom direct these mechanical beasts will make good haste as I provide them satisfactory recompense. That— or I’ll walk.
4. Do you live in the Greater Toronto Area?
I live in the Greater Toronto Area and hate everything in it from its broad ranging diversity to its smiling, accommodating citizens. However, years of communicating with Aunties and Uncles has given me the self-preservationist ability to lie on command despite feelings of moderate turmoil. In many ways this makes me a perfect candidate.
5. Are you okay with you volunteering your time in lieu of getting all of your images?
I’m a vain, shallow, narcissistic, self-absorbed, handsome, charming bastard. I am therefore thrilled with the compensation you offer. However, I further require a full length mirror that must, at all times, be facing me at precisely 43 degrees. Furthermore, my dressing room must contain a bowl of dates picked by a prince of the dessert sun and dipped in the purifying waters of the Monguchuwasha valley.
6. Are you serious about entering?
Yes. I can kill man using only a thumb tack.
7. Can we rely on you to communicate back with us in a timely manner?
The Gods of Olympus themselves could not detain me from satisfying your requests oh Caesar. No fire is too hot! No ocean is too deep! No warrior would be foolish enough to step between a man his fate— nay, his destiny.
8. What are you going to do to make sure that you win and rock our shoot? (Think outside of the box! We’ve heard it all before!)
If placed in a Hunger Games like scenario with fellow model combatants I will refrain from going for the weapons right away despite my reminiscent District 13 physical prowess and mental fortitude. Finding shelter and sources of nutrition is a stronger and more fruitful long term strategy. Much of the game depends not on defeating other opponents, but self-preservation from the natural elements. Taking the high ground is a logical and necessary course of action that increases terrain visibility and chances of spotting other model combatants. While alliances can be helpful, the emotional element of “letting go” often inhibits my abilities.
If you have not seen The Hunger Games I can re-do that whole last paragraph with Harry Potter.
9. Why should we choose you?
The sharp angles of my gracile jaw run in parallel unison, uniting passionately to form the masculine peek of my chin. Eyes, incapable of being described my mere metaphors shine truly, like something that isn’t a metaphor. The body, carefully toned with sleek and subtle muscles personifies the majesty of Appolo’s grace. The legs, fleeting pieces of evidence that the divine can indeed manifest into mortal form, if only for a precious moment.
Rather then continuing to deplete a collective consciousness of poetic description, I shall end by sending you a picture. I pray I do not ruin the sensuality you experience for your partner.
1. Name:
Billal Ali
2. Age: (You must be over the age of 19. If not, you will need parental consent to participate.)
19+ (waist, bust, age and IQ)
3. Do you have your own means of transportation?
I shall be travelling perched within a chariot of the people. The captains whom direct these mechanical beasts will make good haste as I provide them satisfactory recompense. That— or I’ll walk.
4. Do you live in the Greater Toronto Area?
I live in the Greater Toronto Area and hate everything in it from its broad ranging diversity to its smiling, accommodating citizens. However, years of communicating with Aunties and Uncles has given me the self-preservationist ability to lie on command despite feelings of moderate turmoil. In many ways this makes me a perfect candidate.
5. Are you okay with you volunteering your time in lieu of getting all of your images?
I’m a vain, shallow, narcissistic, self-absorbed, handsome, charming bastard. I am therefore thrilled with the compensation you offer. However, I further require a full length mirror that must, at all times, be facing me at precisely 43 degrees. Furthermore, my dressing room must contain a bowl of dates picked by a prince of the dessert sun and dipped in the purifying waters of the Monguchuwasha valley.
6. Are you serious about entering?
Yes. I can kill man using only a thumb tack.
7. Can we rely on you to communicate back with us in a timely manner?
The Gods of Olympus themselves could not detain me from satisfying your requests oh Caesar. No fire is too hot! No ocean is too deep! No warrior would be foolish enough to step between a man his fate— nay, his destiny.
8. What are you going to do to make sure that you win and rock our shoot? (Think outside of the box! We’ve heard it all before!)
If placed in a Hunger Games like scenario with fellow model combatants I will refrain from going for the weapons right away despite my reminiscent District 13 physical prowess and mental fortitude. Finding shelter and sources of nutrition is a stronger and more fruitful long term strategy. Much of the game depends not on defeating other opponents, but self-preservation from the natural elements. Taking the high ground is a logical and necessary course of action that increases terrain visibility and chances of spotting other model combatants. While alliances can be helpful, the emotional element of “letting go” often inhibits my abilities.
If you have not seen The Hunger Games I can re-do that whole last paragraph with Harry Potter.
9. Why should we choose you?
The sharp angles of my gracile jaw run in parallel unison, uniting passionately to form the masculine peek of my chin. Eyes, incapable of being described my mere metaphors shine truly, like something that isn’t a metaphor. The body, carefully toned with sleek and subtle muscles personifies the majesty of Appolo’s grace. The legs, fleeting pieces of evidence that the divine can indeed manifest into mortal form, if only for a precious moment.
Rather then continuing to deplete a collective consciousness of poetic description, I shall end by sending you a picture. I pray I do not ruin the sensuality you experience for your partner.