Dressing well does NOT have to cost you a lot of money. In fact, if you're paying $60.oo for a t-shirt just because it has some lizard in the corner, or a man playing golf on a horse, you're an idiot.
When it comes to buying clothes there are basically 4 things to keep in mind:
1. The way it fits.
2. The way it looks.
3. The quality of the material.
4. The price.
Based on these criteria alone, I can never understand why anybody would buy a shirt from Abercrombie and Fitch. It's a combination of poor quality, ugly designs, high price—and yeah, fine— pretty good fit. However, the owner does resemble a 1000-year-old melting wax Ken doll that's been brought back from the dead by an ancient Egyptian curse.
Anyway, I'm getting a bit off topic. Orfus Rd, for those of you who are unfamiliar, contains a bunch of outlet stores (mostly clothing) all on one convenient street. While most of the stores cater to womens fashion, there is still some pretty good stuff for guys.
Join me as I slap on a latex glove search every orifice of Orfus like a Muslim at an airport who's just smiled suspiciously.
Roots
Pretty good quality clothing, but still generally kind of expensive if you're just looking for basic summer stuff. You can check it out if you like, but I don't think it's anything special.
When it comes to buying clothes there are basically 4 things to keep in mind:
1. The way it fits.
2. The way it looks.
3. The quality of the material.
4. The price.
Based on these criteria alone, I can never understand why anybody would buy a shirt from Abercrombie and Fitch. It's a combination of poor quality, ugly designs, high price—and yeah, fine— pretty good fit. However, the owner does resemble a 1000-year-old melting wax Ken doll that's been brought back from the dead by an ancient Egyptian curse.
Anyway, I'm getting a bit off topic. Orfus Rd, for those of you who are unfamiliar, contains a bunch of outlet stores (mostly clothing) all on one convenient street. While most of the stores cater to womens fashion, there is still some pretty good stuff for guys.
Join me as I slap on a latex glove search every orifice of Orfus like a Muslim at an airport who's just smiled suspiciously.
Roots
Pretty good quality clothing, but still generally kind of expensive if you're just looking for basic summer stuff. You can check it out if you like, but I don't think it's anything special.
International Clothiers
Most people don't bother with International clothiers because they don't want a knock-off design with the words, "Mecca Jeans," written across their chest. However, they do have some nice plain clothing that won't make you look like a 6th grader. If cardigans are your thing, and they should be, this may be the place to go. The only problem is they may only have over-sized stock left. No matter! You and your girlfriend/boyfriend can slip into one at the same time for a cozy, romantic and profoudnly awkward meal.
Most people don't bother with International clothiers because they don't want a knock-off design with the words, "Mecca Jeans," written across their chest. However, they do have some nice plain clothing that won't make you look like a 6th grader. If cardigans are your thing, and they should be, this may be the place to go. The only problem is they may only have over-sized stock left. No matter! You and your girlfriend/boyfriend can slip into one at the same time for a cozy, romantic and profoudnly awkward meal.
If vests happen to be your thing, International has a great deal! Although, on the down side, they all seem to be over-sized again. But, who knows, you could get lucky. Also, you might have to settle for a brighter colour.
I wonder what they do with all the sleeves. I mean, we know Tim Horton's uses the doughnut holes to make timbits, but this is a mystery. Oh wait— duh, leg warmers.
I wonder what they do with all the sleeves. I mean, we know Tim Horton's uses the doughnut holes to make timbits, but this is a mystery. Oh wait— duh, leg warmers.
Urban Behaviour
A plethora of multicolored wife-blessers for only $5.00. Really great for the summer, especially if you want to be hot while staying cool, or be cool while staying hot? Either way, I sound like jackass. Point is, they're good on their own, or if they're being worn underneath another shirt, cardigan, sweater or vest. Ladies go wild for neck and exposed collarbone. Probably. Or is that bats? It's definitely one of the two.
A plethora of multicolored wife-blessers for only $5.00. Really great for the summer, especially if you want to be hot while staying cool, or be cool while staying hot? Either way, I sound like jackass. Point is, they're good on their own, or if they're being worn underneath another shirt, cardigan, sweater or vest. Ladies go wild for neck and exposed collarbone. Probably. Or is that bats? It's definitely one of the two.
UB also has some nice, sleeveless hooded sweaters. I like them, but I'm not sure if I can pull them off. I feel like it's more a tough guy thing like, "I only need to keep my torso warm because I'm too busy hitting people with my arms."
$10.00 "shoes" which do look nice but will destroy your feet if you wear them for more than 15 hours. They come with all the protection and support equivalent to painting the word, "Nike" on the side of your foot.
And, if you're a grown man who enjoys wearing bow-ties, here you can get 2/$5.00. However, on the downside, you will have to live with the shame of owning one, and god forbid you actually wear it.
Bluenotes
Blues notes has special signs all over the store saying, "nothing over $10.00," which is also what I say to my girlfriend every time I buy her lunch. Well, technically she's my "ex-girlfriend." We broke up yesterday over lunch. Literally. Whatever. It was mutual. God, I miss him —her. Shit.
Blues notes has special signs all over the store saying, "nothing over $10.00," which is also what I say to my girlfriend every time I buy her lunch. Well, technically she's my "ex-girlfriend." We broke up yesterday over lunch. Literally. Whatever. It was mutual. God, I miss him —her. Shit.
Bluenotes has some nice hooded sweaters (the American Apparelish kind— white zip etc.) for $10.00. They come in a variety of colours. However, the torso to arm length ratio seems kind of odd. And the hoods are too floppy. They just lay there, impotently. Flaccid. I need a more springy hood. Virile. Either way, pretty good price.
They also have $10.00 jeans and kicks. Again, the shoes may look nice, but they could destroy your achilles tendon and ruin your once promising Badminton career. I COULD HAVE BEEN THE NEXT WANG XIN!
I also found some cardigans, which I like, but Bluenotes only carried them in black and gray. I need colour! How am I supposed to express myself? What! You want me to use my imagination/and or "talent" like some kind of flower-picking, quilt-making, loom spinning fru-fru la dee dah fancy boy! I don't think so, son. Real talk.
They also have tshirts, many of which they've ruined by printing on pop-culture references i.e. "Don't mind my swag." etc. However, there are some plain ones here and there.
Stitches
Stitches is where prices come to die! That metaphor made tons of sense in my head, but I still feel the need to elaborate. Stuff here is really cheap. No more fancy, one-percenter, yuppy $10.00 shoes. No sir. Now, they're $5.00.
Stitches is where prices come to die! That metaphor made tons of sense in my head, but I still feel the need to elaborate. Stuff here is really cheap. No more fancy, one-percenter, yuppy $10.00 shoes. No sir. Now, they're $5.00.
I love v-necks. The deeper the better. If I'm not showing a bit of bellybutton, I'm not happy.
And to go with the sexy yellow shirt, here are some sexy yellow shorts. They also come in a variety of sexy colours that are not yellow, such as blue and/or purple. Cost? $10.00 sexy dollars. Pretty sexy good if you ask me. God I miss my thesaurus. Without it, everything is just plain... sexy? That can't be right. It doesn't make any logical sexy. |
Some coloured pants:
I don't wear these... yet. Frankly, I'm from the type neighborhood where the use of a napkin is already tacit admission of ones homosexuality. Still, the day will come.
I don't wear these... yet. Frankly, I'm from the type neighborhood where the use of a napkin is already tacit admission of ones homosexuality. Still, the day will come.
Plenty of jeans. All blue. Is there any more room for me? In those jeans. Ginuwine... jeans.
Urban Depot
Belts. I tried to get one from here, but they didn't have my size. It's a child's medium, if you're curious. For now I have to make due with my bright, yellow ethernet cable.
Belts. I tried to get one from here, but they didn't have my size. It's a child's medium, if you're curious. For now I have to make due with my bright, yellow ethernet cable.