This week in celebrity gossip chat, a known female celebrity appears to have gained 15lbs after being diagnosed as, “heavily pregnant.” The pregnancy occurred after her boyfriend used his penis to have sex with her. We’re currently unsure of which position the couple used to facilitate the pregnancy. However, one thing is for sure, this Hollywood bad boy was not using a condom!
After her baby inducing sex romp, the female celebrity has gained noticeable weight. While her current fatness is of course somewhat acceptable, we’re wondering how long it takes before this soon-to-be milf sheds the baby pounds.
It’s not all doom and gloom, though. Because the female celebrity is lactating, her breasts have gotten larger, and therefore infinitely better. They certainly do the trick aesthetically balancing out that third unsightly bump.
The female celebrity is expected to give birth vaginally, which if memory serves correctly, is where her boyfriend inserted his penis and ejaculated. The uber private, recluse celebrity couple stated, “They would prefer for things to be private,” when asked if they would live stream the birth via youporn.
The sex of the baby is a total mystery. Since the Mother is a female and the Father is a male, the odds seem to be 50/50. However, the Father of the female celebrity is also a male, so the sex of the baby may lean in that direction. At any rate, this isn’t an exact science, nor am I a real scientologist.
The female celebrity is expected to shed the unsightly weight in about 4 months, when the infant inside her is expelled from her uterus. We will, of course, be on seen to get the first snaps of the amniotic fluid covered newborn baby girl or boy. Then, when the baby begins to develop more distinct facial features, we’ll tell you which parent we think it more closely resembles. However, we won’t stop there; we’ll run the child’s face through a software program that visually predicts what the kid will look like in 18 years time. Then, we’ll add that picture to a Top 10 list of composites we’ve created from different toddlers of famous parents, and you— yes you —can tell us which one is the sexiest.
At any rate, stay tuned.
After her baby inducing sex romp, the female celebrity has gained noticeable weight. While her current fatness is of course somewhat acceptable, we’re wondering how long it takes before this soon-to-be milf sheds the baby pounds.
It’s not all doom and gloom, though. Because the female celebrity is lactating, her breasts have gotten larger, and therefore infinitely better. They certainly do the trick aesthetically balancing out that third unsightly bump.
The female celebrity is expected to give birth vaginally, which if memory serves correctly, is where her boyfriend inserted his penis and ejaculated. The uber private, recluse celebrity couple stated, “They would prefer for things to be private,” when asked if they would live stream the birth via youporn.
The sex of the baby is a total mystery. Since the Mother is a female and the Father is a male, the odds seem to be 50/50. However, the Father of the female celebrity is also a male, so the sex of the baby may lean in that direction. At any rate, this isn’t an exact science, nor am I a real scientologist.
The female celebrity is expected to shed the unsightly weight in about 4 months, when the infant inside her is expelled from her uterus. We will, of course, be on seen to get the first snaps of the amniotic fluid covered newborn baby girl or boy. Then, when the baby begins to develop more distinct facial features, we’ll tell you which parent we think it more closely resembles. However, we won’t stop there; we’ll run the child’s face through a software program that visually predicts what the kid will look like in 18 years time. Then, we’ll add that picture to a Top 10 list of composites we’ve created from different toddlers of famous parents, and you— yes you —can tell us which one is the sexiest.
At any rate, stay tuned.